elizabethlevett

Do you ever have one of those days when all the stuff you do is stuff you have to do, like go get groceries or take care of a dental cleaning or even just do your laundry? Those are the days when nothing on your list of things to do is necessarily something you want to do — like get ice cream or find new shoes or even walk through the park with a good friend. You look at a stack of dishes or a house that needs a good scrub down and you’re just not thrilled.

There always seems to be a list of things we have to dedicate time to that aren’t necessarily all that fun. And they do take time. But I’ve decided I’m here for it. (And no, that doesn’t mean I want to do your stuff for you.) It’s just that I think I’ve found a different way to look at the whole thing.

First, let me tell you about my girlfriend and her laundry. My friend used to love taking care of her clothes, her beautiful clothes. And she loved grocery shopping. She’d delight in a loaf of fresh, country bread or a sack of those “early girl” tomatoes. She loved keeping her place clean and beautiful. Then she got sick. And for a few years toward the end of her life, she had to ask friends to help her out. She hated asking. She hated the idea of being a burden, of not being strong enough anymore to carry laundry or groceries upstairs. But we, her close friends, began to feel blessed to do these things for her. We began to see these things differently. We felt fortunate to be able to visit her and take care of her and then go back to living our own lives and taking care of our own stuff. For a couple of us, the mundane everyday tasks were seen in a different light.

“Reframing” is one of those expressions that gets knocked around a bit, like “self-care,” and “wellness.” Those phrases that inspire disdain from people outside of cities like ours. People think a yoga retreat is hilarious. But that’s not my issue. Semantics is an issue that’s constantly shifting. What I’m suggesting is that perhaps we could somehow shift our thinking a little. Maybe going to the grocery is a privilege instead of a chore. After all, last year around 2.3 people experienced some level of food insecurity. Around the same number regularly lack clean water. We’re lucky, more than a little lucky. And with so many people just surviving, if we’re complaining, we really aren’t reading the room.

Here’s the thing about reframing. Maybe it isn’t so much that the things we need to do are somehow a punishment for adulting, maybe these are actually moments when we can realize that we can take care of ourselves, we have the strength, the agency, and hopefully enough income to do what we need to do, and go get what we need to go get. Also, we have enough to share; we can look for items to contribute to the food drive or volunteer for someone who wishes they were able to do everyday tasks for themselves.

Maybe instead of complaining about the stuff we have to do, we can see our daily tasks as things we get to do. For me, Monday is my day of epic housework. That means at least four loads of laundry and, as urban apartment dwellers, we share one washer and one dryer with eleven other tenants. So up and down the stairs I go. But the built in reward is playing “parachute” with my cats while I’m changing the sheets. Now that, is hilarious. Reframing helps shift the whole experience. And at the end of the day, while I may not get to say I’m so grateful to have been able to find perfect shoes, or get a promising reply from a prospective publisher, or even just have lunch in a fabulous new cafe, I’m so grateful for those clean sheets and this old apartment. I’m grateful to have been here for whatever stuff I was called to do. Framing our lives through a lens of gratitude changes everything.

Finally, what’s most important is to get out of our own comfort zone and do something constructive. Here are a couple of links you can check out that directly aid folks in need.

World Central Kitchen: https://wck.org/?utm_source=googlesearch&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=evergreen-charities&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21546979101&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIrbq5i7nlkAMVGMzCBB1U7S68EAAYAyAAEgI0q_D_BwE

Meals on Wheels America: https://action.mealsonwheelsamerica.org/a/mowa-donation-form?ms=ads_gs_search202504_b&source=ads_gs_search202504_b&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20508298452&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIkpWB8bnlkAMVCc_CBB0P_gzbEAAYAiAAEgLLiPD_BwE