elizabethlevett

“Didn’t I tell you what I believe? Somebody said that a love like that can’t last…”

How do I begin to tell you? It’s not as if I went looking for this. Now, though, it seems I can’t get him off my mind. When I’m with him I can breathe, I can relax, I feel joyful, even young again, beautiful again. When we’re apart, I can’t stop thinking about him.

Also, lately it’s been difficult at home. There are times when Lionel can be tough to love. I’ll be honest, things were amazing between us in the beginning. We did so much together. We understood each other. Maybe he understands me even now. Maybe he know something, senses something is going on. These past couple of years, though, it seems he’s slowing down, needs almost constant care. And I try, I do. So, when Irene said she could come by during the week to give me a break, I naturally welcomed the thought of getting away.

That’s when I met him. We were both sort of shy at first, careful and cautious. We took our time. But finally, he was so willing, and I think he could tell right away that I needed him. I do feel guilty and yet, there’s such an innocence. I know it sounds crazy but that’s just the way it is. There is, forgive me for saying so, a special purity in our time together that’s surprisingly reassuring to me. In a thousand different ways he stirs something in me – with his warm gaze, his disarming playfulness, the tenderness of his touch, the mad thrill of his whiskers against my skin. He sets something going in my heart.

And yes, I know what you’re thinking; he’s so young, so beautiful. A love like this can’t last. I know that someday I’ll look for him and he’ll be gone. Someone will come along who can give him everything, someone will take him home. It’s inevitable. I dread that day just as I cherish every moment we spend together. And Lionel needs me now. But I know that someday I will love again. The dam has burst. The floodgates are open. And the people at the shelter told me they get new kittens all the time.

(Photo by Ginger Williamson who knows exactly how I feel!)